Do you think our modern U.S. attitude toward death & dying needs adjustment? Are there lessons from the past which we would benefit from applying today? Refer to Chpt 2: Death in the West for your answer, as well as other books and films if you like.
I thought this week's reading about death in the west was interesting. It made me reflect on where I would want to die if I was ever given that choice. In the past, death was something that was more common to see and people were more connected to the idea of death. During this time, people would die in their own home surrounded by loved ones. Today, humans are disconnected from death and especially their own death. Additionally, I feel like when our loved ones die today we are separated from them by tubes and machines. After reading this chapter I realized that I would rather die in my own home than being separated from the world with machines. So, yes, I do think that the U.S needs to adjust their perspective of death. I think that people need to be aware of the fact that one day they will die as well as their loved ones. Especially with the technology in today's world, people want to prolong life at any expense instead of just letting go and accepting death for what it is.
ReplyDeleteI agree very much with Lydia. Death as "open and available" has taken on this kind of individualistic and solitary event, where a person forgoes spiritual or emotional support in order to undergo treatment after treatment that will most likely lead to no improvement.
ReplyDelete"the 'good death' today is probably one that is relatively painless and not too ugly, in contrast to the recent past: at home, choreographed, and personal." (47)
To me, notwithstanding all of this technology and far-fetched means to prolong life or painlessly end it, I would prefer the premodern perspective of death as "visible and tamed", whereby I would die surrounded by my family and loved ones and not detached from them by machines, cords, and tubes. While I might have more control of how I go in a hospital, I would forego that ostensible luxury to be able to slip from consciousness in a more peaceful and serene environment like it was in the premodern era.
In short, then, I think that the attitude of our culture towards death today does need some altering. It would certainly be advantageous, if we adopted elements of death as tame and visible today, if anything to loosen "the fear of dependency, the loss of control" (48) that comes with death.
The author himself points out the inherent issue with our current perception of death. We want a death where we are in control of when and how we go, we want a dignified death. "The problem, of course, if that there's nothing dignified about dying." (48)
While I was reading this chapter, a lot of the things mentioned about today's view of death and dying related to a recent interview I gave my great aunt. In my gerontological nursing class we had to interview someone over 70. How they felt about death and dying was among the questions we had to ask them. My great aunt said that she is not afraid of death because she believes that there is something far greater after this life and she believes that she will be with God. She is afraid however, about how she will die. She wants to die doing something that she loves like playing golf or while she's sleeping. She fears that she will develop an illness that will debilitate her and leave her dependent on others for the remainder of her life. This thought goes with what the text says on page 47 where it talks about how today we fear how we die rather than death itself, "It's the dying that seems to frighten us--the suffering, the deterioration, the helplessness, and the dependency." I liked Yip's reference to Confucianism in lecture and how it says that we should focus on life now and not what might happen later and how it might happen because we can never know so it's a waste of time worrying about it. I feel like we should allow ourselves to know that death is inevitable and that it could happen to us at anytime to help us better accept death when it happens to the people we know. This may help us to better come to terms with our own death in a peaceful way so that we do not spend time obsessing about how our death will occur. In this way we will be able to focus on our life in the here and now and know that yes death will happen but that no I don't have control over it so there is reason to spend time worrying about it.
ReplyDeleteIf I could honestly sum up how American's see death it would be easier to listen to this song by Tim McGraw titled "Live like you were dying" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiOcW_YR1G8 If you've never heard the song, then listen to it and tell me how you feel because most people that listen to it want to live their lives like this. American's attitudes blow my mind when on the topic of dying because no one really lives like they were dying, which was our assignment for the week. In the text there is a pattern from the earliest ages understanding and embracing death all the way to present time where death is feared and ignored. We act now as if death is never going to happen because we are not comfortable with the idea of it. This does not help our society because people never live like they were dying; when they experience death they do not know how to handle it and it is that much harder on them because they do not know where that person is now (if anywhere). So to understand it, we need to embrace it and think about what we believe happens.
ReplyDeleteI think that America doesn't take death serious because no one is afraid. I feel like in the other periods of time the chapter embraced death, but also took it serious, now I feel that Americans treat death more like an event than a person losing there life.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you to an extent. When a celebrity dies, the media treats it like an event. The death of a celebrity stems media coverage of the funeral, television tributes to their life, and even books that are written about their life. To me, their death is just another way to make money off of them. But when a "normal" person dies, I think it is treated how it should be, that someone has lost their life. I think people are still afraid of death. I can't think of anyone that isn't.
DeleteI would have to disagree with Quentin's post because I do still think death is taken seriously and people are afraid of death. I don't see why they wouldn't be. But to go along with Kelsi's comment I understand and agree with how celebrity's deaths are so focused on (being on the news constantly, live coverage of the funerals, etc.)
DeleteI think a person's perspective of death comes from the experience they have had with death. I have unfortunately had several experiences with death so I feel as if I am aware of it more and know death can occur easier/faster and at any age then what other people may think. I see many Americans holding their children back from death by not allowing them to attend funerals or not explaining situations like death (even if it directly effects them or not). I think parents should explain death to their children the best they can and let them attend funerals.
ReplyDelete**Were any of you all held back by your parents from going to funerals while growing up??** Any additional thoughts on this??
I know death occurs in many ways but I still do not completely understand it. It is not a topic I am comfortable with just because I have been exposed to it in ways I wish I didn't have to be. I will admit that I am afraid of death because I know it can happen unexpectedly. Sometimes I think that grade schools (middle school) should touch on the topic of death in order to have children be more aware and less scared of it. I honestly think Americans still take death as a serious event especially if it directly effects yourself or your family. Even with the major recent shootings I see some Americans wanting to do something about guns and security within schools. Americans cannot stand having another major shooting like Sandy Hook.
I agree with many of the comment above. I do believe that death is feared still by many, and I also know that death is an event in Hollywood. But I also can see this from a medical point of view as Lydia said. Many people I see do not die at home, they die in a hospital, unconcious, surrounded by many machines or types of medical equiptment. I would much prefer to not have any of those treatments done, however I also feel that family is pressured into such situations if there is no directive from the patient prior to the initial treatment. I preach to everyone out there, no matter what your age, to make and advanced directive with your family. Many deaths could be in the patient's interests or desires instead of family members' decisions-most of which are very selfish. This past week I had to talk with a family about their father who was pronounced brain dead. In no way did I want to impose my beliefs, but often times a family just needs to hear that it's okay to let others go, and to think of what the patient would want instead of arguing about what they think is right. In the end, they chose to withdrawal care on their father and he passed away within the hour. They were very thankful he went peacefully and that the family could stop arguing and just appreciate that they still had each other to get through that hard time.
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